Our Lord Jesus often said, It is I. It is I who am the highest. It is I you love. It is I who you delight in. It is I you serve. It is I you long for. It is I you desire. It is I who am your purpose. It is I who am all. It is I that the Holy Church preaches and teaches you. It is I who showed myself to you here.

Julian of Norwich. Revelations of Divine Joy; Long Text, Chapter 26.

Oswald Chambers wrote in My Utmost for His Highest that the greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus, is service for him. The one aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for him. It is easier to serve than to be drunk to the dregs.

It’s always tough when faced with the reality that much of our life is not actually spent in devotion to God. It’s such a hard balance, and one that I wrestle with daily. I’m not called to be a monk or a hermit. I live in the world, surrounded by worldly things, as well as having responsibilities to my young family. It is the grace of God that allows me to enjoy this imperfect life, bouncing in and out of sin like a ping ping ball, constantly wrestling with getting back to the plumb line of singular devotion to Christ.

And yet this part of Julian’s devotion brings with it a challenge. Who is highest in my life, who do I love most? Who is it that I delight in, serve most wholeheartedly, long for the most? Who is the object of my desire, my purpose, my all?

Most of the time it isn’t God..and yet I so often wish it was. Acknowledging that tension in my life is my place of my greatest growth. It is also where I meet grace, love and the tenderness of his goodness.